Is your lover a narcissist? Very often, when we fall in a relationship that doesn’t seem to work because of the strange behaviour and personality traits of the partners, it really becomes crucial to learn a little about human psychology! How would you cope up a Lover With Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Should you continue loving him…
You can tolerate a person who has average looks, arrogant, haughty , greedy , finicky, possessive and has numerous similar characteristics.
It’s really hard to stay in a romantic relationship with someone who cannot empathise with you when you are in trouble. In a “empathy scale” of 0 to 10, the people who roughly score between 0 to 3 can be labelled as narcissists.
New To The Word Narcissism? This Simple Self-Check Can Give You An Idea
If you are self centred and have excessive interest in your physical appearance and completely preoccupied with your own needs…you are NOT A NARCISSIST, until you are not doing at the EXPENSE OF OTHERS!
Also,when someone posts too many selfies or boasting images on their profile and constantly talks about himself during a first date, you might call him a narcissist!!!
This might seem a very straightforward approach to define narcissism, but this is the most effective and the simplest way to understand what the narcissism trait is…And in no time I am going to tell you everything about the narcissism personality disorder along with the narcissism definition, types of narcissist, pathological narcissist, narcissistic abuse, and narcissistic relationship.
Story Of The Narcissus And The Origin Of A Narcissist
As it happens with most of the strange sounding words, narcissism originated after the name of a handsome young man Narcissus. The overproud guy went on turning down the advances of many potential lovers. Then God punished him to fall in love with his own reflection in a water pool. But as the image can’t love one back, a narcissist dies slowly because of his own narcissistic behaviour traits.
The phrase “falling in love with his own image” fits completely with a narcissist.
Robert Waelder was the first to define narcissism and narcissist meaning as a personality trait. He described individuals who are condescending, feel superior to others, are preoccupied with admiration, and exhibit a lack of empathy.
They are most absorbed in their own sexuality which is based on physical pleasure rather than combined with emotional intimacy.
According to the experts lack of empathy, or the ability to feel how another person is feeling, is one of the hallmark characteristics of a narcissist.
“Narcissists lack the skill to make you feel seen, validating, understood, or accepted because they totally disregard the very concept of feelings,”.
In short, they don’t have emotions that belong to others.
Has your lover ever shown sincere concern when you had a bad day at the office or fought with your best friend? Do they even bother when you try to tell your day’s long story?
Don’t fret if they yawn after you tell them that you had scuffle with your parents. Due to their inability to empathise, most of the narcissist relationships fall apart.
Romantic or otherwise…
Is Narcissism On Rise?
Should we worry about this personality trait called narcissism personality disorder?
Just think about this:
People around the world with the latest technology in their hands can easily slip into narcissism. With so much handy-power, from e-Commerce to banking, booking a ride to paying fees, advancing in all kinds of education and learning new skills, being and living a narcissist is not difficult after all!
You can look at individual scores of narcissism, you can look at data on lifetime prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you can look at related cultural trends, and they all point to one thing,” says W. Keith Campbell, PhD, head of the University of Georgia psychology department. “Narcissism is on the rise.”
Worries Around The Narcissism Turning Into A Social Concern
According to some “expert-critics”, the American population has turned narcissistic since the end of World War II.
There are people who constantly love to talk about themselves and try desperately to get attention.The growth of an internet world in digital media, social media and the advent of reality TV shows have collectively given birth to a new era of mass narcissism!
Being selfish and boastful up to a certain degree is human nature. This you can call “healthy narcissism”. Yet the difference lies between being self absorbed and hard to handle Vs having a mental pathological condition such as narcissistic personality disorder!
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Narcissism: Category Wise
It may sound funny but categorising the levels of narcissism makes it easier to understand everything you should know about narcissism personality disorder.
Healthy narcissism is an essential part of self esteem and self worth. Many self made people develop this system of intrapersonal and interpersonal strategies to protect their self-esteem.
Healthy narcissism is also correlated with good psychological health. Self esteem is a link between narcissism and psychological health.
A healthy narcissist has an elevated self-esteem derived from his perception of competence and likeability, so he is free of worries and sorrows.
Destructive narcissism on the other hand is a high level of narcissistic behaviour which is damaging and self defeating.
A person with destructive narcissism exhibits intense characteristics associated with pathological narcissistic personality disorder with a feeling of superiority and arrogant behaviour with the lack of empathy and concerns for others.
So a destructive narcissist is self-destructing but his condition is not as pathetic as being pathological!
On a spectrum, destructive narcissism is more extreme than healthy narcissism but not as severe as the pathological condition.
Extremely high levels of narcissistic behaviour are considered pathological.
Experts describe pathological narcissism, the inability to love others, lack of empathy, emptiness , boredom and a constant need to thrive for more power.
When a person has symptoms of both narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder in combination, he is associated with the term malignant narcissist. This narcissist trait shows up as arrogance, power hungry, and exploitation of others for self satisfaction and entirely selfish reasons.
Check Out if You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship?
Suppose you are in a conversation with your partner (one way of course, because you are a better listener!). So you have to lend your ears most of the time.
Surprisingly he/she stops and says “enough about me”, now YOU tell me something about ME!!!
And you like…wh…aa..tt!
Narcissists are the biggest attention seekers and believe that they are always right. They are also highly intolerable to criticism.
People with narcissistic personality disorder may appear to be very caring partners, but under the table, they are doing so as so you are fulfilling their needs and demands.
There are various reasons because of which a narcissist partner may cause you a huge emotional distress.
How To Deal With A lover With Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissists can be charmers at their wish. Their bigger than life ideas and promises can work as a magnet. You can find yourself helpless towards this attraction. They can also be superficially popular at the workplace.
However, narcissists are very bad relationship partners, says professor Brad Bushman of the Ohio State University.
Studies show that in a narcissistic relationship, your partner is more likely to engage in manipulative or game playing behaviours and less likely to be committed long-term.
Shift Your Focus And Break The Talismans
Your narcissist lover may gravitate your attention. They work very hard to stay in the spotlight. Just focus on something creative or more fulfilling than spending most of the time with your partner.
Set Clear Boundaries
A person with a narcissistic personality is often quite self-absorbed.
Often, they have a notion that they can do what they want and step into their parteners’ personal arena.
Don’t be surprised with their undue advices and walking away with all your credits. A narcissist partner, sometimes may reveal your secrets you privately shared with him/her.
Such partners might be highly insensitive towards their lovers’ personal space. That is why setting up clear boundaries may be a very crucial and first step towards dealing with a narcissist partner.
Don’t Want To Lose Your Lover With Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Develop A Support System
Maybe you don’t wish to lose your partner and still feel the spell of true love under any situation.
Answer is to support and get support from all around!
It might seem very hard to take your lover with narcissistic personality disorder to a professional support system and help him genuinely.
However, You shouldn’t compromise with your mental health and physical well being.
- Lengthen your my-time. Spending too much time in a narcissistic relationship may leave you emotionally drained.
- Rekindle your forgotten hobby.
- Practice yoga and mindfulness which are well-known to help in any situation life throws upon.
- Try to nurture old friendships and seek help from your parents, elders and well wishers.
- Take active participation in charities and develop more compassion.
Conclusion: Should You Hate Your Lover With Narcissistic Personality Disorder
There are numerous reasons why narcissistic relationships can be hard to cope with.
Buttt… should we hate a narcissist?
Good question indeed!
People come and people go, we meet people and forget pretty fast without bothering about a narcissist or having a God Syndrome!
But in our families, workplace, and the places where we interact very frequently, we may come across a person who may possess all the characteristics of a narcissist.
What if you fall into a narcissistic relationship? What steps should you take to make your and partner’s life better? Why do narcissist traits even exist, think about it.
Are they self made narcissists or their GENES are responsible behind this behaviour?
Yes, you hear it right!
Narcissism is found to have a high heritability score (0.64). And this is more significant than the environmental and society causes.
It is also found that there is a spectrum of narcissistic traits ranging from normal and a pathological personality.
“So Don’t Hate, But Help A Narcissist”
But not at the cost of your wellbeing!
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